A Step Beyond the Basics: I Am Enough
Self-Talk & Writing
Self care is how we take care of ourselves, self care is how we speak to ourselves, self care helps keep us from sinking into depression and anxiety.
An important part of self care is self-talk and writing. In my original post I noted the following.
- Self-Talk- The messages you tell yourself each and every day (ie: when I forget my mask, “I’m such an idiot” when it could be “I forgot my mask, but that’s ok, I can get a new one”).
- Writing– Writing gives you the ability to express yourself completely and the ability to build awareness on your thoughts and lastly the ability to look back and see your progress. Fact: Writing down something helps the brain retain the information longer.
The Deep Dive
Self-Talk
Self-talk is exactly what it sounds like, how we speak to ourselves, our internal dialog, whether conscious or not. Often, sufferers of depression and anxiety partake in negative self-talk, without even realizing it.
The importance of self-talk has been shown in research. Scientists studied self-talk in athletes and found positive self-talk helps performance, consistency, and endurance. Think about Kobe Bryant’s famous Mamba Mentality. Kobe set records, won championships and Olympic medals and inspired a generation to be the best versions of themselves. He did this through positive self-talk.
You don’t have to be an athlete to use and benefit from positive self-talk. Positive self-talk is linked to improvements in: pain management, immune system function, cardiovascular health, physical well-being and greater life satisfaction (reduced anxiety and depression symptoms). Your health is literally affected by how you talk to yourself.
How to Self-Talk
- Identify your self-talk: Take a moment to think about how you view yourself. Make a list, either mental or write it down, of the first five words you would use to describe yourself. Are they positive words, neutral words or negative words? Do you believe the words you used to describe yourself? Below are categories negative self-talk falls into, identity yours.
- Personalizing: You blame yourself for everything.
- Magnifying: You focus on the negative aspects of a situation, ignoring any and all of the positive.
- Catastrophizing: You expect the worst, and you rarely let logic or reason persuade you otherwise.
- Polarizing: You see the world in black and white, or good and bad. There’s nothing in between and no middle ground for processing and categorizing life events.
- Pause; negative thoughts can turn into positive ones. With time and practice you can modify your inner dialog. Catch your negative self-talk in real time and use it to reaffirm your positive messages.
- Examples:
- Negative: I have done this before and it ends badly.
- Positive: This is a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow.
- Negative: There is no way I can do this.
- Positive: I can and will give this my all so it will work.
- Examples:
- But how?
- Identify the scenarios where negative self-talk creeps in. Is it at work, your relationships, fitness goals?
- Surround yourself with positive: Positive similarly goal oriented people, positive affirmations.
- There are free and paid apps on your smartphone that send you notifications with positive quotes and affirmations throughout the day. Or my personal favorite, find quotes and positive affirmations that speak to you. Write them on post-it notes and put them on your mirror or above your bed so it is the first thing you look at in the morning and the last thing you look at at night.
- Laugh! Laugh at yourself, laugh at videos of puppies dressed in silly costumes, watch a stand-up comedy special, call a friend that makes you feel good. Laughter releases tension and stress in the body.
- Check in with yourself daily. Even on your “bad” days, remind yourself this too shall pass.
If these strategies are difficult for you on your own, please schedule a free 30 minute phone consultation with me. CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE.
Writing
Writing does not mean being a writer, it means getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper, or a Word document, whatever works best for you. However, writing on paper uses more of your brain, makes you more creative and is calming. Writing on paper negates constant corrections allowing for free flowing thoughts, forcing the inner critic to quiet.
Writing for self-care can look like whatever you want, just be free and let the words flow. It doesn’t have to make sense, or follow any logical order. No need for complete sentences, just get the thoughts out.
How to Incorporate Daily Writing
- Eyes open, start writing. Yup, before your coffee pick up your notepad and pen and write. Write about dreams you remember, write about what you are grateful for, simple tasks you want to complete, write about ANYTHING that crosses your mind. Let go of the words having to make sense. Write until you feel complete. Write affirmations! Then write again tomorrow. Remember these are your personal pages, so let it all out.
- Resistance: It’s natural to feel resistance to writing, don’t let that stop you. Let go of your inner critic.
- Journaling: Daily journal prompts are helpful to get you focused. Check out this website for daily prompts, or visit your local bookstore (or Amazon) to buy a daily journal. A Google search can guide you to the best daily prompt journal for you. My personal favorites are “5 Minutes in the Morning” and “Calm the Chaos.”
- 3-6-9: The 3-6-9 approach helps you set goals and manifest. When using this technique, it is most effective to use pen and paper. Repeat this practice daily, use the same goal until you achieve it. It looks like this:
- 10 lbs, 10 lbs, 10 lbs
- Lose 10 lbs, lose 10 lbs, lose 10 lbs, lose 10 lbs, lose 10 lbs, lose 10 lbs
- I will lose 10 lbs, I will lose 10 lbs, I will lose 10 lbs, I will lose 10 lbs, I will lose 10 lbs, I will lose 10 lbs, I will lose 10 lbs, I will lose 10 lbs, I will lose 10 lbs
Writing is a release, it helps calm the mind. Approach writing for self-care with curiosity, and a sense of letting go of everything. You don’t have to feel, you don’t have to necessarily think, let the words flow out of you. It gets easier every time you do it. You are not obligated to read over your entries, but it can be helpful to look back through journals to notice any themes in your writing, how you’ve changed and grown, and where you need to focus your healing energy.
Don’t think too hard, let the words out.
Self care is multifaceted. Check in next month for an in depth look at socializing, hobbies and balance.
Resources:
https://www.healthline.com/health/positive-self-talk#takeaway
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