A Step Beyond the Basics: Be Yourself, Without Your Title

Hobbies, Socializing & Balance

Sometimes we forget we’re more than parents, employees, business owners, friends, spouses or whatever other title you carry. We forget we have interests, not just obligations. We forget we’re allowed to be outside of our daily lives.

In my previous post I mentioned the importance of social groups, hobbies and balance.

Social Groups or Hobbies!– Often times people dismiss the importance and influence social activities have on your mental health. Social support and social stimulation give you the opportunity to be yourself away from your day-to-day role as a provider, parent, employee, etc. Some examples can be joining a sport activity, martial arts, book club, and many other activities interesting to you.
Finding BALANCE- Finding balance in our busy lives is ESSENTIAL. As much as we love being employees, parents, and business owners we all need breaks from our roles and responsibilities. Finding balance means making time for YOURSELF throughout your work week and making yourself and your self care a priority.

Deep Dive

Socializing

Yeah, I know the world gets real….people-y and interacting with them… No thanks. But when you choose to be around people who are like minded and share similar goals and interests they’re not so bad. They’ll even take the time to get to know you, care about you, and check in on you and you’ll do the same for them.

We don’t have to be lonely, socialization actually increases the release of hormones that help combat stress. If you struggle with social anxiety seek professional help (schedule with me link to contact if yes)

Benefits of Socializing:

Feeling supported in common goals
Being part of something larger than yourself
Feeling wanted and included
Entertainment
Purpose in life
Build confidence

How?

Call a friend or family member
Google a hobby you enjoy or want to learn and look for groups in your area.
Join a religious group or become more involved in one you are already a part of.
Sign up for a recreational sports league
Go to a yoga, fitness or martial arts class
Sign up for a class at your local community college or community center.
Check out your local library, there’s book clubs, movie nights and other community events
Volunteer at a soup kitchen, local animal shelter, youth group or any other interests you have.

Remember, socializing is not meant to be another item on your daily to-do list. It should be something you genuinely want to do and be part of. It is the quality of your relationships and activities not the quantity. It’s normal to ease into new social situations, don’t overwhelm yourself. Let go of your titles outside of the activities and be present in the moment, allow yourself the freedom to feel the joy of the hobby or activity.

Give yourself permission to stop a hobby or activity you are not enjoying. Trying new things doesn’t mean enjoying them. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. You are not obligated to anyone except yourself. Being uncomfortable is normal, stick out discomfort, but don’t stay in anything that makes you unhappy.

Balance

Putting yourself first is not selfish. You cannot take care of others if you are not taking care of yourself. If you are pouring from an empty cup, you’re not pouring anything. Read that again (like 5 times). Do not feel guilty for taking time for yourself.

Ask yourself if you are setting a good example for the people who look up to you. Do they see you burnt out, frazzled over simple tasks, easily agitated. Or do they see you tackling life as it happens, keeping your chin up and embracing the world in a positive light. Do they hear your negative self talk or do they hear your positive self talk?

Where to Start

Take an inventory of your life, what areas need self care attention? Common areas are:

Mental & Emotional health
Spiritual well being
Physical Health
Career
Relationships (family, friends, significant other, etc.)
Social life (activities, volunteering, etc)

It is perfectly normal if more than one of these areas need self care attention. Once you identify where you need balance you can begin to take steps towards achieving balance. Since we are creatures of habit make it a habit to spend time on your self care, whether that is working out for 30 minutes a day, reading a book, journaling or doing an activity you love. It can take as little as 5-10 minutes a day to bring balance into your life.

Things You Can Do

Practice Mindfulness: We function on autopilot, a lot. Slow down when doing tasks and tune into your senses: touch, smell, sight, sound and taste. Feel the sunshine on your face when you step outside, smell the salt air near the ocean, listen to the birds chirp, watch the bees buzz from flower to flower. Take notice of the world around you.
Play: Have fun! Dance around your kitchen while you put dishes away, sing in the shower. Let yourself enjoy life’s small moments.
Medidate: Even if it’s just 5 minutes of focused breathing. Or go on youtube, there are more guided meditations than are possible to count. One of them can and will work for you.
Set Boundaries: Your time, energy, and emotions are valuable. Say no to things that do not serve you. Boundaries affirm healthy self-esteem. Boundaries can be scary, it can mean limiting time with people who drain your energy and being direct and honest about it. You’ll feel better when you set and keep your boundaries.
Get Off Social Media: Guess what, everyone’s life looks better on social media. But it’s not reality. The “happy Instagram couple” has the same, if not worse, problems than you, the girl posting her dog may be suffering from loneliness. Don’t let likes, comments and followers fool you, stop scrolling and comparing. You don’t have to delete your social media apps (but I’ll bet you feel better if you did). Just remember, it’s not real.
Breathe: Long, deep breaths. Feel the breath move in your body. Focused breathing is an easy to do, anywhere and anytime practice. It calms the central nervous system and releases tension in the muscles.
Do Something For You: Take a bath, read a book, play with your dog, go for a walk, take a freaking nap! Just do something you want to do.