Understanding the Signs of Personality Disorders: How to Show Support While Protecting Your Own Wellbeing

Understanding the Signs of Personality Disorders: How to Show Support While Protecting Your Own Wellbeing

We all have personality traits that shape how we think, feel, and relate to others, but sometimes these patterns can become rigid, overwhelming, and disruptive. When relationships and daily life become more difficult due to these factors, that is where personality disorders may come into the conversation. This blog is not meant to be a method of diagnosis, but it offers education and awareness to better understand potential signs of a personality disorder. If someone in your life exhibits these signs, you should understand how to both support them and also maintain your own emotional well-being.

What Are Personality Disorders?

Personality disorders are mental health conditions characterized by long-term patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that differ from cultural expectations and interfere with a person’s ability to function (American Psychiatric Association 2022). Typically the patterns are persistent over time, unchanging regardless of situation, present from early adulthood, and impactful on a person’s relationships and daily life. These patterns may affect someone’s self-identity, emotional regulation, interpersonal relationships, as well as their impulse control.

Signs to be Aware of (Not a Diagnosis)

Personality disorders vary widely, but research highlights several common patterns that you may notice among people with personality disorders:

1. Ongoing Relationship Difficulties: a. This person may struggle to maintain stable and healthy relationships. They experience frequent conflict, or they might have trouble seeing or understanding other perspectives.
2. Intense or Unstable Emotions: a. You might notice strong emotional reactions, mood swings, or difficulty calming down after a stressful event.
3. Unstable Sense of Self: a. This person may seem unsure of who they are. They are constantly changing their goals, values, or self-image.
4. Impulsive or Risky Behavior: a. Risky behavior may include acting without thinking, engaging in harmful behaviors, or struggling with self-control.
5. Mistrust or Misinterpretation: a. This person may assume that other people have negative intentions toward them. They also may feel easily threatened or rejected by others.
6. Limited Insight a. Oftentimes, when a person exhibits these harmful behaviors they don’t recognize that it is problematic. This could make change and intervention even more challenging.

A Quick Reminder

While you read, it is important to remember that everyone can show some of these traits at times, especially during stressful times. What distinguishes a personality is the consistency, intensity, and impact of these patterns over time. Exhibiting harmful behavior under stress is not the same thing as exhibiting this harmful behavior almost every day. Only a licensed mental health professional can make a diagnosis.

 

How You Can Help Support

Supporting someone who may be struggling with personality-related challenges can often feel overwhelming or confusing. The goal is to offer compassion towards this person without losing yourself in the process. You should lead with empathy, validating their emotions without reinforcing their harmful behavior. Another way that you can help is by encouraging them to seek professional help. Therapy is the primary form of treatment for personality disorders, so gently suggesting support can make a huge difference (Merck Manual, n.d.).

AT Therapeutic Self Care, we have counselors in Galloway and Toms River, NJ that are qualified to help. Stay consistent with your support. Responding in predictable and calm ways can reduce emotional escalation and create a sense of stability for the person that you are trying to help. Some of their reactions may be driven by deeper patterns or dysregulation, not a reflection of you. Although it may get difficult at times, don’t take everything so personally.

 

Why Boundaries Matter

One of the most important parts of supporting someone with a potential personality disorder is setting boundaries. People struggling with personality-related difficulties may struggle with emotional regulation, interpersonal limits, and dependency, so without boundaries, these relationships can quickly become draining, confusing, or even harmful. Boundaries don’t have to be harsh, they just need to be clear and consistent. Healthy boundaries can sound like: “I’m not okay being spoken to that way,” “I care about you, but I need space right now,” or, “I can support you, but I cannot fix this for you.”

Balancing Self-Protection and Support

It can feel difficult to hold both compassion and limits at the same time, but in this situation, both are necessary. You can hold compassion for the fact that someone is struggling, but your boundaries should tell you that your well-being matters too. Supporting someone should never come at the cost of your own mental health. Additional support should be called upon if you feel that the relationship is emotionally unsafe, there are patterns of manipulation, control, or aggression, or if you feel overwhelmed or drained. You don’t need to navigate this alone.

Closing Thoughts

Personality disorders are complex and deeply rooted patterns, not just simple personality flaws. Understanding the signs can help you respond with empathy, clarity, and confidence. Always remember that you can care about someone AND set boundaries that protect your peace.

Resources

 

• American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.).

• Mayo Clinic. (2023). Personality disorders: Symptoms and causes.

• Merck Manual. (n.d.). Overview of personality disorders.